Escaping the shadow
by MirrorMyThoughts
Summary: AU ending to season 4 episode 2. 'He would never know the full extent of what he did that night. But he did know that something had changed.' Some Lance/Merlin friendship.


Escaping the shadow.

Summary: AU ending to season 4 episode 2. 'He would _never_ know the full extent of what he did that night. But he did know that something had changed.'

~O~

"_But your time among men is not over Emry's , not even if you want it to be_."

She turned, and Merlin turned with her to see Lancelot, brave, brave Lancelot approaching the veil. No. _No._ Merlin thought with such a fierceness he was momentarily stunned himself.

"_Sweofet."_ His magic rose to obey with such speed that he felt his irises burn with its strength. Lancelot stood no chance, and Merlin watched in satisfaction as his friend slid to the ground merely steps away from the gaping chasm.

He faced the Cailleach, his blood singing with power. "You cannot have my friend." Words that sounded similar, so similar, echoed off the crumbling walls.

"_You should not have killed my friend." _

Merlin blinked, as memories rose and imprinted on the scene before him. So powerful were the emotions that arose within him that it took him a few moments to pull himself from the grip of _that day_. That awful day where he had believed, truly believed that he'd lost Gaius. He refused to lose anyone else.

"A sacrifice is needed to close the gate."

Merlin studied her, taking in her wrinkled skin, and worn black cloak, he took notice of the staff held securely in one hand. He noticed her _eyes_. They were old. He had never come across any creature with eyes as old as hers, and behind that age he saw power; with knowledge enough to know how to use it. Perhaps he should have merely repeated his offer to the old woman and stepped forwards into the abyss of black, and death and souls. But the Dragons words echoed in his head.

"_It demands nothing, it is the Cailleach; the gate keeper to the spirit world who asks such a price."_

"You could close it, couldn't you. Even if there was no sacrifice, if you really wanted to you could close it."

A smile, as warm as death on a cold winters night danced across her lips.

His veins burned with fury as his magic demanded release, twisting and tugging at Merlin's control as it fought to strike the creature before him. Her clear disregard for life caused red to flash dangerously across Merlin's vision. But Merlin had, and would _always_ have, more control than Gwaine, so instead of lashing out, and attacking, he simply eased the barriers containing his magic; his life, his morals down. It never failed to empower him, this feeling of standing on the edge of the cliff, far enough to risk falling, yet safe with the feeling of rock beneath his feet. This line, the line between control and instinct. Where, if Merlin brought those last barriers down he was sure he would lose himself; become nothing more than a grain of sand washed away by a rising tide.

"And if I refuse to give you one."

"Then the gate remains open." She switched the staff from one hand to the next.

Merlin, wet his lips slightly. "What if I told you to close it."

"The price-"

"Without paying the price."

The night air froze. "Powerful you may be Emry's but do not think to trifle with me." A wind picked up, violent and cold, forcing Merlin backwards.

If she had intended the wind to be a taste of her power then she had wildly miss calculated. Merlin had been playing with the weather since he could walk. His eyes glowed and the winds died.

"Hundreds of people have died since the veil opened. You have had more than enough souls, I will give you no more." He bit back, refusing to back down. He had protected Camelot time and time again from any who sought to harm it. It seemed that rather than a fair and just being, which the Cailleach had at first seemed to be; who required a soul to 'heal' the veil, the creature before him instead resembled nothing more than a foe to be defeated. He would not lose to someone who's aura whispered of the darkness, and malevolence and everything Merlin swore to oppose.

"I'll ask you once more," He said, "_please_, close the veil."

~O~

"_Merlin is stronger than you give him credit for. The young warlock has great power and a future that has been written since the dawn of time." _

- Vilia; spirits of the brooks and streams.

~O~

"_I'll ask you once more, please, close the veil_." The words slid into Lancelot's dreams, coaxing him gently from darkness.

"You truly mean to challenge me." The words bounced around the clearing, carrying with them a sense of astonishment. "You honestly think you can win."

The Cailleach! Lancelot attempted to stand, but found his limbs refused to obey him. Why couldn't he move. Had the Cailleach-

"I have to believe that good magic is stronger than dark magic. I have to believe my destiny is to help Arthur build Albion. I… _have_ to believe that Albion will be a place of good magic, and people living side by side, working to protect each other."

Merlin… Merlin must have put him to sleep. It couldn't have been the Cailleach because Lancelot felt _safe_, a feeling he'd only truly become accustomed to within Merlin's presence. The dark haired youth had a peacefulness to him and even though Lancelot was unable to move, he felt the same warm peacefulness enveloping his limbs. It was Merlin. He wasn't sure whether to be furious with Merlin for using magic on him, or whether to be _grateful_ that someone cared enough to stop him from entering the veil. It took all his will power but Lancelot finally managed to roll onto his side. He watched as Merlin and the old woman circled the stone table.

"You think I have dark magic." She cackled. Something seemed to strike the table. Neither Merlin nor the woman so much as blinked, but Lancelot couldn't stop his heart from lurching at the sound. Sharp and crackly. Stone and dust obscured his vision.

"Yes."

"The Cailleach are neutral."

"Had you truly been neutral, my life would now be in your hands. But you aren't are you? You take pleasure in the destruction caused by the dead." Merlin seemed to pause, as if something within him hurt. "Can't you feel it. The world is wrong. It's out of balance."

"A life was given to open the gate. A life is needed to close it. Balance."

Lancelot watched in stunned amazement as Merlin snorted.

"I'm not entirely sure I believe that anymore. If a life was needed to close it, then only one person need have died, therein using their life to close the gate. But you didn't close it, you purposely left it open, allowing death to spread across the country, like a plague."

"It is the way it has always been Emry's."

Another crackle. Another cloud of dust.

"Then it needs to change."

The old woman stumbled slightly. "Do you really think you can change it?"

"I believe I can try."

Lancelot was sure he was missing something, a thought that was confirmed as several bolts of lightning struck the earth in quick succession. He felt exposed lying helpless in the middle of the clearing, but found himself still unable to summon the strength to move.

The woman's voice became raspy. "How are you doing this?"

Doing what? For the life of him Lancelot couldn't see anything happening, all he could see was the partially destroyed table, and one of the scorch marks. Merlin didn't appear to be doing anything, he hadn't even said a spell yet. Neither had the woman. Lancelot felt the thrumming of the tear behind him; perhaps that was the cause of the woman's distress.

Something spread over the ruins; almost like the _night_ as the sun dipped below the horizon, and as it did Merlins voice rang out across the clearing.

"You _will_ close the veil and never again will it be breeched; with or without a sacrifice. The souls of the dead do not belong in this world, it belongs to the living. And that is how it will remain." If he had not been watching with his own eyes, Lancelot would not have believed Merlin was the one speaking. He sounded… well he sounded almost like a king; strong and magnificent, with enough strength in his words to ensure he was obeyed.

A feeling spread over Lancelot, and regardless of the foreboding in Merlin's tone, the feeling that washed over him was akin to a gentle embrace. The faint lingering warmth of another body, as they held you, safe and loved within their arms. More comforting than any safety blanket.

The Cailleach flinched, and for a moment Lancelot wondered if she'd felt it too.

"You can't-"

"No ones life is worth another. It is time this barbaric magic came to an end."

~O~

"_When I first met you I saw something that was invisible, now it is there for all to see." _

_- The Great Dragon._

~O~

Thunder shook the sky, and lightning ripped it apart. When Merlin first said the words, he had no idea the impact they would have. He would _never_ know the full extent of what he did that night. But he did know that something had changed. And that somehow, he was the cause.

One streak of lightning stuck the veil, and a sickening sound filled the air as the veil ripped, tearing and splitting until it filled the sky from clouds to grass. Merlin swallowed. What had he done? He stood wide eyed as the shrieks and cries of the dead attacked his ear drums. He turned, intending to throw himself into the abyss in the hopes it would reverse the mistake he had made, when he noticed the souls were not leaving the void. They were being sucked in.

Countless souls streamed through the heavens; all pulled, kicking and screaming into the schism.

"_No."_ The cailleach whispered. "This is impossible."

Merlin turned to her, with a sudden burst of confidence and said, "Albion has no place for dark magic."

"This wasn't supposed to happen." She continued to murmur. Suddenly she, with a speed Merlin never suspected she possessed, she was beside him, both hands gripping his face. The staff clattered loudly against the table.

"Your eyes," Merlin whispered suddenly, not in the slightest bit startled by the situation. "They're sad. Like the first time I met you. They were so sad then, like centuries of pain locked away."

He felt her hands tremble against his cheeks. "Emry's."

"Now they're sad again. So sad." He raised his hand, and ran his thumb over her lower lid. "Where did your anger arise from? Such anger. To mask such sadness."

"Emry's."

"Cailleach…" He glanced behind her, " The veil is closing." He didn't know why he said it. He was sure she must have known. Perhaps it was only to convince himself what he saw was true.

"I told her that you were her destiny. That you would constantly walk in her shadow. That you would be her doom." She whispered. Her hands had yet to leave his face, they continued to hold him there, eye to eye. Skin to skin. Power to power. "But I can not imagine such power in the shadows." Her eyes closed.

Merlin began to feel slightly uncomfortable, as he realised they were stood practically nose to nose.

"Warm, and bright." she said, and her eyes opened, revealing familiar gold. His brow furrowed in confusion. First the Cailleach had mentioned a 'she' now the Cailleach was talking about his magic? He remained silent, choosing instead to wait for her point to be made.

Then she released him and took a step back. Once again the staff was firmly clasped within her hand. Absently she turned and assessed the now closing tear, watching as the last few ghostly spectres spiralled into its hold.

"I wonder, what use is a gate keeper when the gate has been locked." Her voice was as it had been the first time he saw her. It seemed to echo from the very depths of the earth, but now there was a softness to it.

He suddenly felt as though his initial opinion of her hadn't been as far of as he'd come to believe. Looking at her now, there was no trace of the cackling woman who had demanded a life in return for healing the rift. Awkwardly he rubbed the back of his neck. Then suddenly a word slipped from his lips. "_á__c__æ__glod_."

She smiled. "Locked with a key."

He nodded, "The gate may be locked, but who's to say it can't be broken."

"Or the key found?" She inclined her head in return. "Perhaps, should the day come, the gate will remain safely locked away, protected by its gate keeper."

Sensing the conversation was somehow over, Merlin moved off to see to his friends.

"Emry's."

He paused merely steps away from Gwaine. "Perhaps, you will not be her doom, but instead her salvation."

He pretended he understood what she was talking about and nodded in agreement. An act he had no doubt she saw through.

"_Emry's_," The curled lazily across her tongue. "Such power. Such _will_. Your destiny truly must be a magnificent one."

Rather than hide his irritation he found himself stifling at her persistent use of Emry's. "My name." He said clearly. "Is Merlin."

He pressed a hand to Gwaine's neck, and was relieved to feel the pulse; strong and fluttery beneath his fingers.

"-And I'll make my own destiny." His words were punctuated by the 'pop' as the veil sealed completely.

Merlin was surprised to see something akin to pride dart across her face.

"Until we meet again, _Merlin_."

~O~

"_You may be destined to rule Camelot, but you have a choice- as to how you do it." _

_-Merlin_

~O~

Lancelot feigned sleep when Merlin eventually came to check on him. He had too many thoughts running around his head. He felt, deep in his bones, that he had just witnessed something incredible. Something life changing. Yet, as the minutes continued to trickle past he found his enlightened image of Merlin; a powerful, kingly figure, revert back to his previous thoughts on the man.

Humble, and otherwise ordinary. Even as his brain screamed at him that Merlin was not in any way ordinary: Merlin was special. _Ordinary_. It still didn't fit with the image of the man who faced off again the gate keeper, and somehow came out the victor. Yet there was something. Something that went deeper than even Merlin's magic, that was so inherently _ordinary_ about the man that sometimes Lancelot even found himself forgetting Merlin processed magic. Not because of his actions, it was his view, his opinions on life and those within it, that seemed so _similar_ to Lancelot's own. How can someone so powerful see the world the same way _ordinary_ people saw it.

How could someone with that much power be content to live as a servant? The thought, dark and menacing slid across Lancelot's mind before he could stop it. Merlin would never-

"I know you're awake." Said Merlin.

Lancelot wearily opened his eyes.

"How much did you see?"

"All of it." He decided to question Merlin later, but for now he kept coming back to the same thought. What if-

No. One look at Merlin's eyes told him everything he needed to know. Merlin was good. So inexplicably _good_ that he probably couldn't even conceive the thought abusing his power. Such men were hard to come by.

Merlin was the strongest person he knew, not because of his magic, but for the fact that he had such power, yet he was never consumed by it. It was for that reason that Lancelot knew he was unlikely to meet a better man even if he lived for a hundred years, and he was blessed beyond belief to have such a man as his friend.

Merlin muttered a word under his breath and Lancelot felt as if a weight had dropped from his shoulders. He could move. Carefully he grasped Merlin's shoulder.

"Merlin." He said seriously. Suddenly overcome with an urge to show his friend just how much he meant to him. It abruptly became vastly important that he convey his thoughts to Merlin in some way. But Lancelot was not a man of words, so he did the next best thing. He drew his sword; ignoring Merlin's hesitant look, and placed it between them both on the ground.

"Arthur is my prince, my future king. But Merlin, _you_ also have my loyalty. As a friend… and should you ever require it, my sword is yours to command. I would have given up my life tonight to save you from surrendering yours, now I offer it up to you. My _life; _Should you ever require it."

It wasn't the most eloquent of speeches, but from the gold that momentarily burns behind Merlin's blue iris's Lancelot knows Merlin understood the message. He was not however, expecting Merlin to cuff him round the head. Granted it was hardly painful, more than a nudge than a whack, but it did shock him enough that he had to momentarily fight for his balance.

"I'm sorry, my spell seems to have caused lasting damage. Or perhaps it was caused by the fall." Merlin rolled his eyes, in a way that was so typically Merlin that Lancelot felt a twinge of fondness. "I don't want your life, _Idiot_, I just want you to be happy. You, and Arthur. The knights, and everyone back in Camelot." Merlin pinned him with a glare. "_Happy. _I just want people to look back on their lives, and think _yes_; It was worth it._"_

For some reason Lancelot found himself recalling a phrase, spoken in the exchange between the Cailleach and Merlin, one he hadn't heard before. "Where's Albion? I heard you mention it earlier. You said _Albion_ had no place for dark magic."

Merlin's eyes softened and he whispered an answer so quietly that Lancelot almost missed it. "A place where _everyone_ can be _happy_."

~O~

"They're my friends too, and I'll do what ever it takes. To protect them."

-Merlin

~O~

AN: Yeah, not entirely sure where this came from, but the ending of the episode just kind of got to me, I almost wanted Merlin to just blast the bloody woman away, and the image I had of her from the first episode didn't match the image of her laughing at innocent people dying, so er, yeah. This was born.

Also the quotes don't exactly fit, but in my head they make perfect sense, um, hopefully my logic isn't too warped and you also get why I've squidged in a couple quotes.

Yeah, the ending was lame. I can't seen to end stuff well, I just kept wanting to turn it all angst-y. _sigh. _

AN part 2:The hype about Lancelot coming back next episode; which might I add I'm so excited for! Made me think back to this little… doodle, that funny enough I started the moment episode two ended, tears streaming down my face and everything. _Lancelot_- such a perfect human being in the first two episodes, safe to say they are most likely going to screw with his character, but who knows, maybe they'll keep the adorable; _humble_ knight that won Gwen's heart, but I doubt it. Sad times.

Bright side, it wasn't too angst-y… whoopee! :D


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